SEAS OF CHANGE
Hello, my name is Linda
I would like to share with you a very personal and traumatic experience with you. I want others that have been through similar experiences to know that they are not alone.
There was a time in my life when I would say, I had it all marriage, home, three daughters' great successful career and in a blink of an eye everything changed, and I woke up in a fog and never thought I would see the light again.
Little did I know that my life was going to change drastically.
My family was now missing two souls my husband and middle daughter. It was the absolute worst pain to endure. Remember I had it all or so I thought. and now here I was standing alone with a 5-year-old a five-year-old and was numb, hurt, mad, sad you name it. And when I tell you I was in a fog is a complete understatement, I had no idea what to do how to move on how to cope how to live, breathe, sleep I was so beyond lost that I even packed up everything and moved with my five-year-old to another state just so, I would not hear I am so sorry for your loss every day of my life. Crazy, I know but I thought if I moved where no one knew me or my family and what had happened I somehow would be healed. Well, as you probably have guessed that was far from the truth. I basically just rain away from life and tried to start a new one because I was a mom, and my first thought was to protect this little girl and not have her relive this nightmare day after day.
I am ashamed to say but, I even gave up on God, I thought why would God allow this to happen, what did I do to deserve this excruciating pain and emptiness? And I despised the saying everything happens for a reason, so much that if a person said it to me, I never would talk to them again. I went many years hiding my pain hoping it would just go away. I simply was putting on a new Band-Aid every day.
Then... when my second grandchild was born, I decided to come back home and hopefully things would've settled, I even moved to another town to avoid people once, I did move back.
It took me seven years to realize this was my new life the new norm. And it took another three years to realize I had to whatever it took to regain control of my life and take off the sunglasses and painted on smile that I have been hiding behind.
Once, back in my home state, I decided to face the music and not let this traumatic event define how I lived my life any longer. It was time for me to get back to me, I went a lot of years not living life and, in my heart, I knew that my husband would want me to be the absolute best version of me, for our two daughters that were still here on earth and now these two grandbabies that he would've been head over heels for. I made my peace with God, with the tragedy and I regained my life back as best as I could. I even knew why people said everything happens for a reason, crazy right? But when I was giving birth to my youngest child I had a bad C- section so, I wasn't able to hold her or see her right when she was born. Hours later the nurse and my husband came in and said here is your brand-new Babygirl Faith, I looked confused and then looked at my husband and said where Emma was (that was supposed to be her name) he looked down at me and said I changed it to Faith because, I complete trust that naming her that would bring you back to us. He passed 5 years later, and it wasn't until I regained my life back that she was my gift from him almost as if he knew something might happen and I would need her to help me survive. Turns out he was right I did need her, and she was the reason I am still here.
If you know of someone or maybe even yourself that has been through a traumatic situation or hard time navigating through doubts of deep depression, not wanting to get out of bed, not knowing how to move on, the constant hurt and pain of overcoming traumatic loss. If that sounds like you, you are not alone that is what we do at Seas of Change we help people overcome those types of situations, so that they can live a fuller and richer life all while still honoring their loved one.
I know exactly what you’re going through. I personally understand the difficulties that come with traumatic loss and the denial, negative thoughts and fear to tell anyone because they might judge you or say something that you just don't want to hear.
Are you ready? If you answered yes, I am here and I can help you, Let's get back to being that beautiful soul that makes everyone smile including you.
One thing to always remember, you are the only person in control, you're the expert in your life and only you can choose when it is time to navigate.